At work
Nobody has to guess where things stand with you, and that saves everyone time.
What it costs
Places where the timing of a thing matters more than the truth of it.
How you notice it early
You have said it before you decided to.
One thing
Before you send the next hard one, put it in drafts and count to sixty.
If you want to show someone
Let them finish. The first version is not the final one.
With the people closest to you
There is no guessing with you, and people who are tired of guessing find that restful.
What it costs
They are still catching up to the first thing while you are on the third.
How you notice it early
You have filled every silence in the conversation.
One thing
Tonight, say one thing and then leave the pause instead of filling it.
If you want to show someone
Let them get it out. Reply to where it lands, not where it started.
The other seven
Written for you to read about yourself, not for anyone deciding about you. It describes what tends to cost and what tends to feed — it is not a diagnosis, a test, or a medical opinion, and it does not tell you what work to take or who to be with.